10 Lies Black Women Tell Themselves

1. White women are stealing from black men.

Trust me, no one is stealing them. It is your choice to date outside of your race. So what if they are? Love is love and it comes in all colors, shapes and sizes. Sistas need to stop growling at Caucasian women who choose to be with Black men. It’s 2010 and everyone should explore new things and consider the possibilities of finding love beyond the limits we set for ourselves. Instead of hating, maybe you should follow his lead. Try something new, you may surprise yourself.

2. Straight hair is beautiful hair.

I agree, it can be. But your natural, kinky/curly locks are beautiful too. I have seen an overwhelming number of black women go against the grain and choose to be natural. For those who haven’t crossed over yet, natural doesn’t mean buckwheat. There are so many wonderful styles that you can achieve with your natural hair.

3. There are no good black men around.

I know it seems that way because the only ones that seem to be in your face are the crazy ones. But there are crazy men and women in all cultures. The good ones are the ones who are at work, at home, or out there doing good things. Get involved in some positive activities and you’ll be surprised who you run into.

4. Claiming to be mixed with another race makes me superior.

We’ve all heard this “I have Indians in my family.” It’s great to recognize that you’re made up of different cultures and have a love for all of them, but nowadays, they’re all mixed up with something. We are all made of many things, but I have seen some try to downplay their African roots. Black is really beautiful, and the way he blends in with others makes it even more so. Celebrate it and elevate it.

5. I must be fair-skinned to be considered beautiful.

Everything light is not always good. Even today in 2010, some black women are still in that color bias treatment. I have three words for you, “Get over it.” Black women are beautiful no matter what shade of brown we are. If you are blessed with sun-kissed chocolate skin, love it and take good care of it. There are not many other cultures in the world that have individuals as beautiful and unique as you. And if you have a lighter ending, love yourself too, but please don’t belittle or ridicule our darker brothers and sisters.

6. I need to act and sound “white” to be accepted in corporate America.

First of all, there is really no such thing as acting or looking white. Of course, most African-Americans use it as a way to describe someone who speaks clear English, but not all Caucasians speak correctly just as there are some in other cultures that adopt certain dialects. There’s nothing wrong with being a polished version of yourself, but some people feel the need to change their character when they enter the world of work. Who can keep up the act for more than 8 hours a day? Just be yourself.

7. Having a baby will keep you alive.

If a man doesn’t love you, he doesn’t love you. It’s as simple as that. Having a baby by a man who is irresponsible will only make him run away further, and if he has any decency, he will be there for the child, not you. Growing up.

8. It’s okay to be abused (verbally/physically) as long as you have a man.

I wouldn’t keep a snapping turtle for long if it bit me too many times, so why would a woman allow a man to physically or verbally hit her just to say she has someone in her life? I know it’s been said before but let me say it again, it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve. Love yourself enough to go, and fast.

9. Education doesn’t matter as long as she looks like a video girl.

It’s sad that I even had to put this on the list, but while watching BET (yes, I should have known better) I heard something that pissed me off. I heard a female rapper admit that she believed to her fans that it didn’t matter what she said as long as she looked good. And she was fine with that. What? I hope the girls did not hear or believe that ridiculous statement. It’s wonderful to want to be physically attractive, but if you’re an airhead, none of that matters. Sure, you can get a modeling job if you’re beautiful, but you also have to know how to navigate the industry and once you’re past a certain age, it’s all over for you. And that? Our young women need positive role models who care as much about presenting themselves well as they do about feeding their brains. It is possible to do both.

10. I am not valuable.

You are a queen. Did you need to be reminded? You were born to be great. Read your history if you are not convinced

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