If someone were to look back on their life, they might wonder what happened to their childhood. The reason for this is that this may have been a stage where they had to act like an adult.
Instead of being able to have fun, play, and have very few, if any, responsibilities, they may have been the complete opposite. A time in their life where they should have been carefree was then a time when they were overwhelmed.
an investment
Ultimately, they would have been forced to act like a father figure and one or both of their caretakers would likely have acted like children. A time in their life where they needed to receive and express ended up being a time when they had to give and hide.
Naturally, since they had to be there for someone else or several people, it would not have been possible for them to grow and develop. So while they will look like adults, it is highly unlikely that they will feel like one.
a great act
Still, thanks to what they had to do during their formative years, they’re probably pretty good at playing the adult role. They will be there for others and might even work in a helping profession.
Therefore, it is likely that most people see them as very responsible and fulfilling their role in life. In fact, it could go further, with some people describing them as selfless and holy.
an endless flow
It may not matter what time of day it is or what they are doing, as they could be available to help others. If they are not available in person, they may be available by phone.
Due to how they carry themselves, they will be used to receiving positive feedback from others. However, from time to time, they could end up feeling exhausted and wondering what’s going on.
a challenging time
During this time, not only will they feel totally floored, but they may also feel bad that they can’t be there for others. Then they will be on their back emotionally, if not physically, but will not be able to truly surrender to what is happening.
There will be guilt and shame that they feel, and they may also feel that their very survival is threatened. Consequently, they won’t allow themselves to fully recharge, and this could cause them to crash again before too long.
a natural result
Behind the act they present to the world there is likely to be an underdeveloped child, and this child will have been hidden long ago. Ergo, although it will have been many, many years since they were children, the child they once were will now live within them.
This child, not having received what he needed, is unlikely to be on the right track. Since they normally had to be there for others as children, this part of them will have a lot of unmet needs and suffer a lot.
a bad thing
The needs they had as children were not bad, but they would have come to believe that something was wrong with them. As a result of this, they would have ended up hiding and then disconnecting from them.
It would have been painful for them to be aware of their needs and not have them met and revealing them would likely have caused them to be rejected and/or abandoned. From a young age, they learned that hiding their needs and being there for others was the only way to survive.
A weak sense of self
Your true self, so your needs, feelings, preferences, and desires, would have been hidden and a false self would have been created. This would have happened automatically as they were raised in an environment where they were forced to adjust to their caregivers.
Another part of not having received what you needed is that you will not have been able to develop boundaries. They will not have a clear idea of where they begin and end and where other people begin and end.
an empty container
If they had received what they needed, they would have been able to go from an empty and dependent human being to a full and interdependent human being. They would have a strong sense of self and strong boundaries, allowing them to know what they are and are not responsible for and feel comfortable asserting themselves and saying no.
Their needs and feelings would also be seen as a normal part of life rather than something to be ashamed of and hide. This would allow them to have equal relationships, not relationships where they are like a parent and another is like a helpless child.
taking stock
Taking care of their needs would be a normal part of life and they wouldn’t need to feel bad that they couldn’t be there for another. What this would also do is prevent them from being enablers.
In other words, they would not do for others the things that they should do for themselves. They may not have been able to have fun and play as a child, but now they will be able to make time for those things.
Awareness
If someone can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.
