We all know people who are so self-absorbed that no matter what the conversation is about, they will turn it back to themselves. We could be talking about different types of bread or world peace, it doesn’t really matter. Soon they will refer to something they said, did, witnessed, experienced, hardly stopping to breathe.
There’s the story of a supermodel who talked endlessly about herself and then finally stopped, turned to her partner and said ‘now let’s talk about something really interesting, what do you think of me!’ Apocryphal or not, most of us will be aware of someone like that!
To build two-way relationships we have to show interest in others, find common ground, and have the desire to connect. How often do we walk away from a stimulating conversation or discussion and say, ‘I’ve never thought about it like this’? A good conversation can be an enriching experience.
As you cultivate a relationship, others will respond to your interest in them by being ready to reciprocate, work harder, and give more of themselves. This is especially evident when we hear reports of people changing jobs, cutting their pay, and moving to another employer, one that has a history of appreciation and offers better working conditions. People value and respond to being treated as important.
So share the conversation, it’s not always about you:
– What demotivation is talking to someone who is not even remotely interested in hearing what you have to say. Someone who can barely hide their impatience while waiting for you to finish speaking because they already have their next prayer ready! Feeling that our contributions are valued makes us feel valuable and happy to participate.
– Why bother to have an opinion? Or trying to add something to a discussion if the other person is not interested, has already made up his mind and chooses not to listen? This frustrates communication and stops the free expression of ideas and contributions. People eventually turn off and stop listening. Similarly, if someone always counters what you have to say with a dismissive word or look, that can also stifle any desire to participate.
– Honest and respectful conversation provides an opportunity to get feedback, develop your interests, and gain insight. A dialogue provides time to share, discuss and perhaps question opinions, thus learning a lot from each other. We can often leave a lively conversation feeling enriched by it. We may have gained a new perspective or seen something from a completely different point of view. Sharing ideas, opinions, and perspectives helps us educate each other and expand our reach.
– Reflect on how we form new positive relationships.. Some people are quiet and enjoy letting others become the center of attention while talking about their favorite topics. But few people want to become a permanent audience and have their opinions totally ignored and ignored. Being listened to and considerate is an important part of forming healthy, two-way adult relationships.
– We need to value others. Your opinions, thoughts, and feelings are important. When we treat people with genuine concern and respect, they thrive and are often eager to strike up a conversation, perhaps even in a relationship. They become more confident, friendly, and confident. Relationships formed on this basis add value to everyone’s life.
– And it is worth remembering that people who constantly talk about themselves can be insecure and need reassurance. There may be times when it is valid to listen and appreciate your need to speak and be heard. But equally, sometimes it’s not unreasonable to claim some ‘airtime’ for yourself and say ‘now it’s my turn’.
Everyone benefits when there is a two-way connection. Clearly, different personalities express themselves in different ways. Some people are loud and outgoing, others are quieter and prefer to be more subdued. But when a relationship is constantly about one person, it can eventually get boring and result in others disconnecting and distancing themselves mentally, if not physically. People relax and are more confident when they are respected. We all appreciate being treated well.
