Foreplay is largely known as a variety of erotic physical stimulation that takes place before “real” sex or intercourse that in men stimulates an erection and in women lubrication. These are behaviors that are sexually pleasurable and often involve the use of the tongue, fingers, hair, chest, or a sex toy to give and receive a full-body sensory experience through delicious kisses, caresses , licks, bites and sucks.
However, most sex experts today believe that the behaviors commonly labeled as foreplay are pleasurable sexual activities in their own right and should not be considered just preliminary to other activities. Most find this objectionable, since it implies that everything else is nothing more than a warm-up for intercourse, its fixed end point. Suggestions like “love play,” “outside sex,” and “non-coital sex play” are considered better terms, since they’re all-inclusive, take the pressure off everyone, and don’t seem as desperately goal-oriented.
When it comes to foreplay, sexual pleasure, such as oral and manual stimulation, should be considered as separate features of a dynamic and ever-evolving sexual menu, of which intercourse is only one. Therefore, it is necessary to deviate from the norm that sex is only about achieving an orgasm, the ultimate sexual experience, and rather consider sex as “the” incredibly intimate sexual journey in which couples begin to achieve maximum pleasure. The pleasure is in the experience of the whole trip and not just in the final destination itself and none of the activities on this trip is considered hierarchically superior to the other.
Therefore, foreplay should be considered as part of a larger sexual interaction, an essential component that stimulates and prepares the body and mind/emotions to move through the phases of the sexual response cycle in preparation for orgasm. Therefore, being erotically charged by a sexual partner should not necessarily mean that every interaction should end with sexual gratification. Therefore, foreplay does not have to be about sex, but about infusing a relationship with a sense of love and intimacy.
Traditionally, foreplay has been considered something a man must do in order for a woman to be as ready for sex as she presumably always is. This is most likely because men naturally find it easier to become aroused and revel in the pleasures of sex than women, who generally need a bit more time and manual stimulation to become aroused and enjoy sex. . While some men can become aroused and have an erection in just a few minutes, it can take up to 30 minutes for women to reach their peak of arousal.
Technically speaking, while arousal can be considered instinctual for both men and women, women’s sexual responses are not necessarily slower than men’s, but women do require more foreplay because they find it harder to orgasm at through normal intercourse. However, it is unfortunate that most men do not realize this fact: that women need more time, emotions and erotic stimulation to reach a state of arousal in which they can achieve an orgasm.
Retrospectively, in one study, some 709 sexually experienced adult nurses were asked to rate the importance of 15 different things (such as fatigue, stress, and lack of sensitivity) that interfered with their ability to reach orgasm. The previous games were ranked highest beating all the others by a good margin. Women found their men too focused on the goal (coitus) and tended to rush everything. Men, according to them, do not slow down and take enough time to stay, play, explore and help their partners to be satisfied.
In terms of foreplay duration, this group of women preferred their partners to enjoy foreplay for an average of 17 minutes. Meanwhile, a new examination of research by Dr. Alfred Kinsey, Kinsey Group data revealed that just 7.7 percent of women whose partners spent 21 minutes or more in foreplay failed to orgasm.
Tips for absolute foreplay pleasure
As with self-pleasure, most people probably have ways to please their partners. Although most women have the same general erogenous zones, each woman, of course, has different sensitivities at different times. However, when it comes to getting really physical, men and women often make similar mistakes. As Masters and Johnson observed, during foreplay, both men and women tend to do things they think would turn their partners on. Really, the key to achieving pleasurable foreplay is to communicate with each other what the expectations and likes of each couple are. It doesn’t necessarily have to be verbal, but it’s important that your partner knows, one way or another, what feels good and what doesn’t.
1. It starts in the brain
As Masters and Johnson also put it: “Always remember that great sex starts when you still have your clothes on,” it starts in the brain. In fact, the mind can also be an erogenous zone. “Setting the mood” isn’t just a few moments before sex; it can last hours or even days before. Foreplay also starts before they touch each other. During and after lovemaking, it’s important to be present with your partner as you try to experience a deeper state of being together, not just a momentary climax.
2. Pay attention to romantic details
Set the stage for love in small ways, by making sure the room is warm enough, the lighting is right, etc. The environment you create (candles, relaxing music, and romantic, loving words) will help harmonize your energies.
3. Experiment with a variety of touches
Touch is a key element of foreplay because the surface of the body is covered with many nerve endings that transmit pleasurable sensations to the brain. The skin is also the largest sexual organ because all forms of pleasure during foreplay are transmitted through the skin. However, some parts of the body, particularly the clitoris, penis, nipples, fingertips, palms, lips, tongue, and soles, have denser nerve endings. These sites are sometimes called erogenous zones, the most sensitive parts of the male and female bodies, and are important areas of exploration during foreplay.
4. Go slow
The essence of foreplay is slowness. Anticipation and increasing intensity are important in bringing a woman’s desire to the peak of her arousal, passionate kissing can be a good starting point. Start by kissing and caressing your body, but not your genitals. Massage, caress and kiss her hands, wrists and toes, gradually moving up the thigh, abdomen and then the outer part of the breast before reaching the nipples.
5. Do some exploring
Too often, women go straight for the penis and many men complain that women do not grip the penis firmly enough and treat it cautiously. However, if you can’t tolerate too much stimulation to your penis, just like women, many men have sensitive nipples, scrotums, and perineum that women can spend more time on.
6. Experiment with different rhythms
Tease him or her by turning your partner on and then back off. There is greater anticipation when your partner never knows if she will continue stroking or stop and change the pattern. Variety is the spice of life and equally the spice of a good foreplay. If he’s been cuddly and slow and soft, you may want to become a little more energetic, aggressive and a little more dominant, to spice things up a bit.
