First of all, I want to say that I am sorry that you are experiencing a breakup. You may feel like your heart has literally been broken into two pieces. A breakup can be just as difficult to handle as the death of a loved one. In a sense, you are mourning the death of the relationship. You may have made plans to spend your whole life with your partner and now you don’t know what to do with your life. All of these feelings are normal and part of the grieving process. I want to assure you that you will heal and get over this break up no matter how you feel right now. You may not have been able to control the experience of a breakup, but you can control how you deal with it.
Occupying your mind and time will help you get over a breakup faster than just sitting up in bed and wallowing in your pain. You need to keep yourself busy with positive activities and surround yourself with a good support system. Below is a 30-day activity guide that will keep you busy and help you recover from a breakup:
Day 1: Visit your mom, BFF, or close friend and tell them about the breakup. Don’t forget to bring your tissue to wipe away those tears.
Day 2: Allow yourself a day-long pity party to wallow in your sorrows; scream, cry, take it out because tomorrow you’re going forward. Try not to extend this pity party beyond one day; You need to focus on the positive and not the negative.
Day 3 – Change your profile status to a single Breakup post and hide status updates from your ex or delete them. The less you know about your ex, the better.
Day 4: Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex or put it in a deep, dark corner in the back of your closet if you still don’t have the strength to throw it away.
Day 5: Contact New Love and make an appointment to talk to the relationship coach about your breakup. Having someone to share your feelings with will help you heal faster and you will feel better.
Day 6: Plan a movie night with friends. Turn it into a junk food filled sleepover just like when you were kids.
Day 7: Go shopping for a new outfit. Don’t forget the matching shoes.
Day 8: Buy a “breakout plant” and call it something really cute. Water it daily and make sure it gets adequate sunlight. Don’t forget to name it and take care of it.
Day 9: Exercise to help boost your endorphins. Repeat three times a week. Not only will you feel better, but you’ll also look better, giving you that extra boost of self-confidence you need.
Day 10: Change your hairstyle with a new cut or color. Be bold and daring, don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself during this period of time.
Day 11: Talk to a close friend (preferably one you don’t like) and let them give you a pep talk. Often a friend can provide information and advice that a friend cannot.
Day 12: Reread your favorite book or buy a new book to read. Escaping into the world of books can help take your mind off your own problems.
Day 13: Buy a new push-up bra that accentuates “the girls.” This is a good time to go to a lingerie store and get measured by a professional. Many women do not wear their correct bra size.
Day 14: Plan a dinner for your friends and family at your house. Bring out the good china and wash the meal down with a really good bottle of wine.
Day 15: Hang out with a niece, nephew, or any other cute and cuddly child. Take your little friend to a cool place like Chucky Cheese. It’s hard to be around young children and not enjoy yourself.
Day 16: Complete one of the New Love sample journal topics. Try to write as much as possible during this time. Journaling is a good way to release pent up emotions. It’s also good to review old journals and see how much progress you’ve made.
Day 17: Make a list of the things your ex will miss about you. List things like: his amazing meatloaf, folding his laundry, or listening to his work drama.
Day 18: Volunteer: Do something for someone other than yourself. Helping others will make you feel better. You can volunteer at a hospital, retirement center or with disadvantaged youth. If you don’t know where to go to volunteer, check out http://www.volunteermatch.org/ and they can connect you with a volunteer organization in your area.
Day 19: Follow-up appointment with your relationship coach.
Day 20: Take a road trip or vacation. Sometimes a getaway can really clear your head. Go anywhere at least an hour away from home.
Day 21: Put on the “Freak Um Dress” as Beyoncé says in her song and go out and go out on the town at night. Looking good and a little attention from the opposite sex will often give you that little boost you need. Please, no random hookups, it’s okay to flirt, but make sure you go home alone.
Day 22: Get a massage, or go to the spa.
Day 23: Do something adventurous that you have never done before. It can be as simple as joining a karate class or as brave as skydiving. You can even try indoor skydiving; you’ll still get an adrenaline rush without having to jump out of the plane.
Day 24: Wear something ridiculously cute to work today. Get up early and take the time to do your hair and makeup. Enjoy the compliments you receive today.
Day 25: Journal on the subject: What I learned from this breakup.
Day 26: Buy your friends something for supporting you and listening to you vent. You want to show your appreciation for your support. Be sure to give your friends the same support if they experience a breakup in the future.
Day 27: Visit an animal shelter – possibly adopt a cute pet. Studies show that people who have animals are often happier than people who don’t have a pet.
Day 28: Go to an amusement park. Get on a roller coaster and scream at the top of your lungs.
Day 29: Go to church or participate in a spiritual activity. People who have faith are much better adapted to face the problems of life than those who do not have faith. Surround yourself with people who share your faith so they can support you after the breakup.
Day 30: Buy something ridiculously expensive (something you can afford) to celebrate thirty days of surviving after the breakup. If you’ve been looking at a designer handbag or wanted to buy a new flat screen TV, now is the time.
