I heard a Ted talk this week called Breathing into Life by Brad Lichtenstein, ND. He asked the audience a question that drives his medical practice and his work with people seeking healing from physical ailments: How do you want to live?
That question struck me as one we could all benefit from asking ourselves, especially now that we’re warming up to 2015. As is tradition, we set New Year’s resolutions that rarely last and quickly fall by the wayside, and of course At the moment, most of these resolutions are about unhealthy and unrealistic expectations about our relationship with our bodies, diet, and exercise. I wonder what could happen if instead of resolutions we spend time reflecting or contemplating these questions: How do we want to live? Is the way we are living a reflection of our deepest values as human beings? How do we discover our gifts and talents? What can we give back to the world?
This can certainly be a collective matter of a community of people; however, for the purpose of this exploration, let’s make it a bit more personal.
Take a moment to ask yourself the questions: Is the way I am living a reflection of my deepest values? For that I am? What do I want to do with my precious time on this planet? How am I breathing my breaths?
You may notice that by asking yourself these questions, you are taking over some kind of fear or anxiety. Truly living in a way that is congruent with our deepest values, or what Dr. Lichtenstein calls, “Breathing in Life,” requires tremendous courage and vulnerability.
Shame and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown tells us that courage is telling the story of who you are with all your heart, and that vulnerability is the most accurate measure of courage. Wow, that sounds beautiful and scary! Relational wounds are a universal human experience and for some of us, we withdraw deeper and deeper into a shell of fear and protection. Courage and vulnerability are not easy tasks, but necessary explorations to be truly alive and live well.
So… How do we live from our hearts and breathe boldly into our lives?
The simple answer is practical.
practice breathing
Breathing is a universal thread of life, it is the bookend of life, the first thing we do outside the womb and the last thing when we reach the end of life. It’s so remarkable because even though most of the time it’s purely involuntary, we can also take it from its more passive natural or automatic state into a more intentional practice space to cultivate or develop it as a skill to calm our bodies and connect more deeply with ourselves. themselves.
The cultivation and practice of the breath is a courageous way to align our inner and outer life and help us in our effort to tell the story of who we are with all our hearts, truly living our values in the world. If we slow down and create a space that invites stillness and deep listening, even for a minute or two, our hearts begin to let us know how we are engaging in life and whether we are aligned with our values.
Practicing the actual act of breathing (which you’ll get to do if you keep reading!), helps us get in touch with and deepen our connection to what’s in our hearts. We will find out a lot about whether we are on a path of love and living well or if something in our path needs to be adjusted to have internal and external alignment.
Practice acts of bravery
Following the path of our heart, even when we feel fear and anxiety, is key to breathing boldly in our lives. Learning to stay connected to our values even in the face of discomfort and unpleasant feelings develops and hones the skill of courageous breathing. Start small, but expose yourself to fear. Practicing and exposing ourselves to what we are afraid of reduces the psychological response to fear and allows us to feel more comfortable living life alongside fear (which is a normal human reaction), rather than trying to shut it down or hide from it. Make it personal: what would this be for you? Perhaps this would be sharing a dream or hope for your future with a trusted friend or family member. Perhaps for you, an act of courage would be to seek help for something you’re struggling with or try something new, like a painting class, writing a story, or volunteering at an animal shelter. Think of something that connects you to a deep value you hold and start small, but start somewhere.
Practice an Attitude of Compassion (for yourself)
When we practice acts of bravery and stand up for our core values, things may not always go as planned…but they just might! Either way, having an attitude of compassion for oneself allows for an appreciation of beauty and courage with less attachment to the outcome. The willingness to stand up for what matters in the service of breathing and participating wholeheartedly in your precious life on this planet is to be honored. Watch how you talk to yourself: a compassionate heart has the potential to transform suffering.
practice with brave people
Think about those people you admire, those who live a life of inner and outer alignment. Learning from others about acts of bravery are invaluable lessons. Be curious and engage these people in a conversation. They will most likely tell you that courage is not the absence of fear. It’s not even about overcoming fear. Living a life that is a reflection of our deepest values requires vulnerability and the willingness to stand beside fear, expose yourself to it, move through it, survive, and grow.
Even with all these ideas, we cannot breathe life if we are physically holding our breath! I invite you to take the next minute as an opportunity to explore your own breath in the service of cultivating an awareness of your inner life.
breathing practice
Sit comfortably and invite your body to relax. This can be in a cross-legged position or in a chair with your back supported and your feet on the floor. Your eyes can be open with a soft gaze or closed, whichever is safe and comfortable for you.
Begin to notice your breath. How are your breaths? Maybe they are long and maybe they are short. They may be shallow chest breaths or they may be deeper in the diaphragm. Observe your breath without judging what it is, it just is. Observe what is going on in your mind: is it loud or is it quiet? Bring your compassionate attention to your heart. Does it feel tight or soft? Neutral? Open or closed?
Does your heart have something to tell you? Continue to breathe gently, allowing your breath to deepen and expand your lungs, honoring any emotions that may arise with compassionate attention, without judgment or criticism. Perhaps you are asking the question of your heart: What could lead me to a greater connection with my values?
After a few more rounds of contemplative breathing, begin to bring your awareness back to the physical space you are in. I encourage you to take a minute to write about what you discovered in that moment of stillness and courageous encouragement. What was your heart telling you about breathing into your life with courage and vulnerability?
Breathing bravely into your life helps make not only your life, but also the world, a more tolerant loving place. The world needs what you have to offer, your unique values and your unique expression of them.
