He was thirty years old.
Or possibly forty or fifty.
Maybe sixty.
For this story I was thirty… but it doesn’t really matter.
He… may even have been a… her.
It may even be you.
He had been swimming in circles for years.
And when he wasn’t swimming, he was floating in the water.
Or pedaling backwards on his not-so-cool bike.
His career, finances, relationships, education, attitude, goals, and dreams were like the pond at the end of his street; stagnant.
Stinky.
Unhealthy.
He knew it.
And he hated it.
He was the master of the incomplete.
He had ‘almost’ done a million things.
He had threatened greatness… but never delivered.
Periodically he felt sorry for himself.
It’s okay, often.
He played the blame game.
He was a time waster.
An excuse maker.
He had talked too much and done too little.
For too much time.
He had rationalized, justified, and explained half his life.
Or more.
He was talented.
Talented and fearful.
Talented and lazy.
He tried to be the big, fun guy.
But deep down, he was the big, sad guy.
The big lonely guy.
The big frustrated guy.
The big, angry guy.
But one day something happened.
The time had come and he had overcome it.
The switch had been activated… and he was ready.
In the end.
Ready to do whatever it takes.
Ready to change.
He would do anything.
Anything.
He was fed up with himself.
His pathetic existence.
Your inability to do the job.
I wanted more.
I wanted success.
Fulfillment, happiness.
Money.
Lots of it.
and toys
Cars, houses, amazing clothes… stuff.
A lot of that too.
He was tired of surviving and getting by.
Survive…instead of thriving.
And he was sick of being out of shape.
I wanted to be hot.
Irresistible.
Polished, ripped and hard as a rock.
A six pack would be fine.
Maybe a well-placed vein or two.
I wanted it all.
And why not?
If others could ‘live the dream’, why not him?
I just have to work for it, right?
I was ready to work.
Finally.
He was willing to change his attitude.
And finally, he was prepared to be uncomfortable.
The Genesis.
He decided that his metamorphosis would have to begin with serious study and research.
He started devouring self-help books; Read at least one book every week.
I wanted to learn from the best.
The richest, the smartest, the coolest.
The best of the best.
He loved those rags to rich stories; they inspired him.
He looked at the rich who came out of nowhere because he saw himself in their story.
He visualized himself with money… in his big house… with his expensive car; it was a nice photo.
He was drawn to one personal development guru in particular who lived on his own island.
“The coolest thing in the world… would be having your own island,” he fantasized.
“One day…”
When he wasn’t selling refrigerators at ‘Fridges R Us,’ he immersed himself in his new ‘success mindset.’
Learning the jargon and culture.
He began to weave terms like “paradigm” and “neurolinguistic programming” into the tapestry of his daily conversations.
His co-workers were confused.
And fun
Actually, he didn’t want to be like them anymore.
He began to feel what they represented in his life.
He began to mock her ‘ignorance’ and lack of drive.
Which created an interesting dynamic in the dining room.
He did not care.
“If people don’t share my vision, they miss out,” he told himself.
One of his numerous books made it very clear…”You have to take care of the number one in this world, because if you don’t do it, nobody else will.”
“Kill or be killed… the corporate world is a jungle and only the strongest survive.” He told one of his bewildered co-workers about him as he ate a skinless chicken sandwich at lunch.
He enrolled in numerous courses and programs.
Got a ‘life coach’.
I became a fan of personal development.
Some would say… a self-help whore.
Although not me; I don’t talk like that.
Couldn’t get enough of the ‘get rich in record time’ stuff…
He walked on hot coals.
He flew on a trapeze… to overcome some kind of childhood fear.
Or something like that.
He wasn’t exactly sure about the circus part… but his life coach said it was a must.
As part of his image and attitude overhaul, he got a tattoo on his shoulder; apparently some Chinese symbols mean something about a ‘warrior’.
And some chest and arm waxing.
In the car, his favorite rock station was replaced by Personal Development CDs.
Positive affirmations were posted throughout the house.
Gems like:
“I am a great achiever”
“I’m a millionaire”
“I am a winner in the game of life”… graced every spare inch of wall space.
Got a trainer.
she was hot
He loved being seen with his hot trainer.
She didn’t like being seen with him.
He thought he had been lucky with her.
it was not
They whitened his teeth.
Twice.
NASA could have guided the space shuttle back to earth with those teeth.
White would have been an understatement.
His confidence grew like weeds.
He gave up alcohol, salt, sugar, fat, and cigarettes.
And anything wrapped in plastic.
Except, of course, the sachets of ‘miracle powder’ that get big and thin in no time kindly provided by the aforementioned Uber coach at ‘wholesale price’.
She mocked him behind his back.
He asked her out fifty times.
She refused fifty times.
He did not care.
He had a new attitude.
Nothing would bring him down.
He trained like an elite athlete.
His trainer’s bank balance grew as his ample belly disappeared.
And while the body fat melted away and the muscles grew, he enrolled in a real estate course. He was motivated, focused and passionate and he was about to hit the mark.
Property was going to be his ticket.
Within twelve months, boy-wonder had become a qualified realtor, started working in the industry, traded in his nine-year-old Ford for a new BMW, and was about to purchase his first investment property.
Not long after, the organization he worked for recognized his drive and value to the company and promoted him.
He lived from his job.
He ate, slept and breathed his career.
They promoted him again.
He had no social life or fun.
But he knew the fun would come later.
I could wait.
“People don’t understand sacrifice”… he said to himself.
All he did was work, exercise obsessively, and eat overpriced organic food; brown bananas, speckled apples, and chewy half-cooked rice.
Friends and family had to “step into the background for a while.”
And for the most part, he found his family to be something of an ’emotional drain’.
After three years he was a partner in the company.
Unheard.
He had set a record.
The BMW had given way to a Porsche, and his personal portfolio had grown to eleven properties and significant investments in blue-chip stocks.
I was making a lot of money.
Just what you always wanted.
I was on a roll.
In fact, he was leading by example.
Some people thought he was obnoxious, arrogant, and one-dimensional.
He thought they were losers trying to get in his way.
His body fat was seven percent, his teeth were whiter than ever, his confidence was at an all-time high, he was shaved to within an inch of his life, he had his own personal assistant…
and best of all, his beautiful trainer had realized that she loved him after all.
Swell.
Who would have thought?
Just before his thirty-sixth birthday, he started his own real estate company.
Within two years he had branches all over the country, couldn’t remember how many properties he personally owned, had more luxury cars than he could drive, and had been featured in ‘Success’ magazine.
He did radio and television interviews.
He bought a forty thousand dollar watch.
And he bought more and more… things.
Finally, I was living the dream.
Even his assistant had an assistant.
His amazing metamorphosis had brought with him a new set of…friends.
Now it was much more popular.
People noticed him, knew him, wanted to hang out with him.
He didn’t talk to his old friends anymore.
Or your family very much.
Apparently they were quite jealous…and they really had changed.
They didn’t really ‘get’ it.
“Oh good.”
Two days after his forty-first birthday and eleven years after his first personal development workshop, our high achiever sold his business to a major international company for hundreds of millions of dollars.
He was richer than rich.
I would never have to work again.
Ever.
Although he hadn’t spoken to his family in two years, he thought they might call to congratulate him when they heard the news.
they didn’t
Typical, he thought.
I was angry at them for being so dysfunctional and resentful.
He swore never to speak to them again.
“I don’t need that anchor around my neck anyway.”
Two months later he bought his own island.
It wasn’t Australia or anything… but as far as the islands go, it was nice.
He built the house of his dreams; a mansion overlooking the sea, complete with gym, theater and a dressing room as big as his parents’ house.
He had his own runway, a helipad, and of course enough toys to keep him happy and busy forever.
He and the trainer (now his wife) fought a lot, but he had learned to pacify her with regular “retail therapy.”
“Give him the credit card, send it to the door, and I’ll have some peace and quiet,” he told his wealthy friends.
And while she happily spent her money, he and his ‘assistant’ indulged in a little therapy of their own.
Yes, I had it all figured out.
“The best of both worlds.”
Sometimes he marveled at how smart he was.
Even though his best friend in the world, an old schoolmate, had stopped talking to him.
“Better anyway.”
“We were socially disconnected; no common ground…”
“We’re in different places now…I’ve grown up, he hasn’t”…he would try to convince himself.
One afternoon, after enduring World War III (a thousand) with the super successful ‘Mrs.’, our hero went out to sit on his huge balcony, in his expensive chair and gaze at his expensive view on his very expensive private island.
He collected his thoughts and looked down to admire his muscular, waxed arms in the light of a bright full moon. The veins she had once longed for were now permanently exposed just under the skin of her slim, athletic body.
His teeth were now so white they were almost fluorescent.
He propped his protein shake against his rock-hard abs and watched the waves.
It was the most beautiful sight in the world… but it might as well have been a black hole.
For a man who had everything, he clearly felt poor.
And alone.
And silly
For the first time in years he was completely honest with himself.
A single tear rolled down her cheek.
And it is felt.
It really feels.
No distractions, no noise, no ego.
And finally, no nonsense.
For more than a decade he had lived ‘in his head’.
And for the first time in an eternity, he heard what his heart had to say.
That single tear became a torrent.
He felt pain like never before.
He instantly had a heightened sense of awareness through every cell in his body.
It hurts to breathe.
The tears were liberating.
Slowly the pain turned to joy as he began to truly understand success for the first time.
Suddenly wealth had nothing to do with money.
He walked in and quietly picked up the phone…
“Dad, it’s me…”
