The last few days have made me realize how important it is to live for the day and value health.
One of my friends was celebrating her 70th birthday. I went to visit her and was surprised to see how much weight she had lost since our last meeting. However, she is fine and eats sensibly, but she is exhausted.
She is a full-time caregiver for her husband who has prostate cancer and has also suffered a stroke, leaving him physically helpless. He spent several weeks in the hospital and my friend had to commute fifty miles round trip just to visit him.
Eventually, she put away many of her possessions, made the necessary adaptations to her bungalow, and put in place a support system so she could care for her husband at home. She was relieved not to have to go to the hospital every day, but at least she had a break. She is now on call 24 hours a day and as much as she loves her husband, she is a strain.
He cannot move without help and while his mind is alert and active, his speech is not bright. He is constantly tired, his skin itches and hurts from the medication and from sitting in the same position. My friend has to do everything for him and never gets a chance to sit down. Where before he could socialize, relax with a good book or use his computer, now he is also responsible for gardening, DIY, car cleaning, etc. My friend is very tired.
The next day we visited my in-laws and here the situation is the other way around.
My mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s. She is still mobile but very forgetful and where she once ate a lot she now has little appetite. She is just skin and bones. Her clothes hang from it.
He has lost interest in everything and all he wants to do is go out in the car. The problem is that she is so fragile that even the slightest hit from her hurts. My father-in-law has run out of places to take her. They’ve lived in the same area all their lives, so they’ve been to all the local go-to places, more than once, and of course gas isn’t cheap.
My father-in-law, who was once very active and played golf three times a week, is a people person who enjoys the company of other people. Now, however, he is virtually confined to his house, as his wife becomes distraught if he is out of her sight. He has to do everything for her and has taken care of shopping, cooking, housework, etc. He never leaves her and the tension begins to show.
They have been married fifty-six years and have run out of conversation. They have said everything that needs to be said and besides my mother-in-law can’t concentrate her thoughts anyway. She has suddenly become very old and defenseless. My father-in-law is very tired.
Both my friend and my father-in-law have had their world turned upside down due to the health of the couples they love. One has lost a lot of weight and the ability to relax. The other has gained a lot of weight and the opportunity to be active. Both have missed the opportunity to socialize.
On TV tonight, a very sweet 110-year-old lady, who lives in a nursing home and looks amazing, gave the nation her recommendations for longevity. Her advice was to eat sensibly, exercise, and have a glass of wine whenever you wanted, but not too often.
It is good advice and without a doubt exercise is an important factor. My father-in-law has put most of his weight on his chest and is now having trouble breathing. His doctor has told him that he needs to cut down on sugar, salt, and fat and go for a brisk walk every day.
However, his wife cannot walk much, does not want to use a wheelchair, and he cannot leave her, so such exercise is unlikely. Therefore, he must reduce his calorie intake, but he is a former chef and likes to cook. He has been raised to enhance the flavor of food by adding all the things the doctor has told him to cut down on, and his taste buds have gotten used to the taste. At eighty-six, he wonders if it’s worth making the change, especially since eating is now one of the few pleasures he has.
It’s a fact, as you get older you need to eat fewer calories simply because you lose muscle at the rate of 1/2 pound per year. Unless you actively do something to replace it, your body will replace muscle with fat, and being too fat is unhealthy, as you know.
Muscle burns many more calories than fat, so unless you’re prepared to reduce your calorie intake year after year, you should think about it. While cutting back on fats, sugars, and salts, especially those hidden in packaged and processed foods, is sure to help you lose or maintain your preferred weight, you still need to consciously build lean muscle; otherwise, next year you will have to reduce your calorie intake even more.
That old lady has the right attitude, which is to say eat sensibly and exercise. Don’t obsess over your weight unless it’s affecting your health.
There are much more important things to think about, like living!
