What a man may find, if he steps back and reflects on his life, is that, for the most part, his relationships with women have been anything but harmonious. So when the ‘battle of the sexes’ is mentioned, you probably won’t find it hard to relate to what’s being talked about.
So when it comes to your relationships, this area of your life will often have been full of drama and ups and downs. So unlike a woman complimenting him, she will have rubbed him the wrong way, so to speak.
in the same boat
Chances are, he has come across many men who have had the same experiences as him. As a result of this, he might believe that this is how relationships between men and women are.
Because of this, you might believe that men and women are simply not meant to be together. At this point, it may seem like your only option is to avoid getting into a relationship and go out of your way to avoid women in general.
a closer look
If you were to look back on your life, you may find that the way you experience life is nothing new. For as long as you can remember, you may have had troubled relationships with women.
If this is the case, it won’t come as a surprise if he believes that’s the way things are when it comes to women and there’s nothing he can do. The problem is that his need to connect with a woman isn’t going away; that does not mean that he cannot repress himself and end up sexualizing himself.
a poor replacement
But, even if this happens and he ends up looking only for a woman to satisfy his sexual needs and emotional needs that have also become sexualized, it is unlikely to have a positive effect on him. Of course, she will probably feel fine while she meets them, but soon after, it’s likely to be very different.
You may feel empty and deprived, it being very clear that satisfying your sexual needs is not enough. The false sense of ‘intimacy’ that he experienced when approaching a woman’s body will not have been emotionally satisfying.
going deeper
Now, even though your life may have always been more or less like this and you may have met many men who are in the same position, this doesn’t mean that’s the way life is. So while it may seem that his experiences reflect what life is like, it would be more accurate to say that they reflect what he is like.
What this comes down to is that he, and everyone else on this planet, is not just observing reality. His extroverted ego-mind, along with his eyes, will create this impression but it is an illusion.
Mirror
Therefore, the experiences he has reveal more what happens to him than what happens to women. However, this does not mean that his life is purely a reflection of what is happening in his conscious mind; it is also a reflection of what is happening in his unconscious mind.
After hearing this, that is, if you haven’t completely dismissed what’s been said as ridiculous, you might wonder how what’s going on ‘out there’ relates to him. On the one hand, he could say that he wants to have harmonious relationships with women; he doesn’t want to experience life this way.
A multifaceted being
Even if this happens, what doesn’t change is that he’s made up of many parts and there’s a good chance he carries a number of parts inside of him that aren’t in a good way. It is likely that it is these parts that make you co-create a life like this.
To understand why he has parts within him that are doing this, you’ll need to take a closer look at his early years. It is likely that this was a time in his life when he had a very challenging relationship with his mother.
back in time
His mother may have been emotionally unavailable (and in a deeply traumatized state) and therefore unable to truly be there for him during this important stage of his development. This would have meant that his needs were rarely met and this would have caused him great suffering.
He would not have been able to connect with her and this relationship would have meant their relationship was anything but harmonious. Instead of being warm and caring, she would have been cold and distant.
the next stage
Binding himself to receiving love from her would then have been like trying to draw blood from a stone; a stuffed animal may have been able to provide more love. Over the years, she may have done her best to push him down, not up.
And, while this was going on, she may have also done her best to do the same for her father (who was probably a broken man). There would then be conflict between him and her mother and between the man with whom she would have identified, her father, sending an indirect message that this is the way things are between men and women.
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an unhealthy model
Her mother would have provided her with her first model of what women are like, leading her to believe that women are reticent, aloof, cold and threatening and essentially her enemy. Thanks to this, she will need to be on her guard and protect herself when she is around them; she will not be able to open up to them.
This would not only have given him a sick model of a woman, but would also have caused him to develop an unhealthy relationship with his own feminine aspect. This side will relate to giving up, letting go, receiving, and being vulnerable, and each of these will be seen as a risk.
Awareness
These early experiences will have left you with a number of limiting beliefs and emotional wounds. There would have been conflict outside of him from the beginning and now there will be conflict within him.
If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.
