There are many reasons why I watch the Devil Rays play. However, some of these reasons seem to outweigh the good at the moment, but I still can’t look away.
First, I need to express my concern for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Their bullpen really needs to be improved for this team to even have a 500 chance. When I think of Tampa’s own Devil Ray bullpen, I picture all the pitchers waiting on a bench getting ready to ride on PSTA, which is the transportation by public bus. I’m sure they make Shawn Camp ride in the back of the bus to avoid spoiling what could be a mix of talent if all the players were mixed up. Although, I would say that John Wilson pitching from his regular position at shortstop seems like a viable solution to regain overall bullpen effectiveness. Ok, maybe I’m being too hard on the Rays; they are actually my favorite baseball team to watch in person or on tv. They have Scott Kazmir, wait…he’s the starter, never mind.
Second, what’s going on with Raymond Ray, your pet? Raymond Ray is nothing like devil ray. The mental image comes to mind that he, quite possibly, was a member of the Smurf village exiled for discrimination deformities. On the other hand, kids absolutely love Raymond Ray, which helps attract more families even though the Rays often lose an unfortunate number of games. There’s something about the Devil Rays that draws me to keep watching them. Maybe, it’s the possibility that they might end up getting better and one day win a world series. I know it’s not the mascot or the bullpen that draws this compulsion to stick my face to FSN nearly every night the Rays are on. Someone please help me here.
Third, Carl Crawford in a positive notion is hands down the best base stealer. The guy is lightning fast and even with pitchers looking at him he just can’t be stopped. Okay, I’m bragging about it a bit more than facts about reality, but it’s fast. Could we compare Carl Crawford to Ricky Henderson, another all-time base-stealing great? I feel comfortable in my answer saying “If pigs could fly, wouldn’t they still eat out of a mud hole?”. If anyone has a delay in their brain on that, I meant yes. Right now, Crawford is sitting on 33 stolen bases where he was caught stealing 8 times out of 41 attempts overall. Look, Tampa has the ability to keep talent. I’d like to dig deeper into CC, but I just received vital information that could potentially take me back on my first statement about his bullpen.
Finally, surprisingly, someone from the Ray Organization was secretly spying on me and reading my first paragraph about the bullpen. Ty Wigginton was traded for Dan Wheeler to add a new addition to the Tampa Bay Devil Ray bullpen. Seth McClung was traded for Grant Balfour and Jorge Cantu with Shaun Cumberland was traded for Brian Shakelford and one other as-yet-unnamed player. Someone is listening, I know. The Rays now have a chance to increase that winning percentage with these new additions to the bullpen. I think I’ll stop writing anything else about the bullpen until I see what happens.
In short, I think the only real thing affecting me right now is his pet, Raymond Ray. This is a message for you Raymond, I told Gargamel where to find you, so be careful!
