Tango is a physical challenge, but the biggest obstacles are mental. Here are five common ones that can really trip us up and make things unnecessarily miserable …
Not accurately measuring our progress: Our perception of how improvement should feel is almost never consistent with how it actually happens. If we have danced regularly, we are probably improving. But the process is gradual and we don’t notice it right away. Don’t succumb to frustration or the belief that should be doing something wrong if we are not improving exactly the way we imagine. Every now and then, we should step back and think about how far we’ve come since our first lesson.
Comparing ourselves as a way to determine how “good” we are: This is also a common problem in many activities other than tango, and it is natural to feel insecure from time to time. But comparing ourselves is the wrong way to approach it. For every dancer we envy, there are probably many who wish they were just like us. And the dancers we envy probably wish they were like someone else. This rabbit hole leads to nothing but negativity and a distorted view of ourselves. Let’s avoid it.
Putting too much pressure on ourselves to try, or remember, new shapes right after learning them.: Practices they are better places to try new things. In a milongaIt is better to stick to the numbers we know (especially for leaders), even if they are basic. For both leaders and followers, it’s okay if all we can remember is a few basic technical points. Better to do some things well, than to be carelessly mediocre at a lot of them. By repeating the few things we are good at, we are laying a foundation for progress.
Equating inexperience with bad dancingOf course we are not going to glide across the floor like a pro if we have only had a few lessons. But hanging your head in shame and calling us bad dancers shortly after classes start is like criticizing a 9-month-old for being bad at walking. Let’s have some patience with ourselves!
Thinking that you don’t belong: This state of mind is extremely unpleasant and it certainly feels real. But is not. There is no exclusive “cool crowd” in tango. It is worth noting the variety of people who participate in this dance. They all belong, but no one needs to “fit in.”
