All life has a cycle and we must recognize each stage of the rotation to benefit from the next. There can be no success without failure. There is no joy without pain. There is no light without darkness. We must learn to calibrate ourselves through challenging times, to develop and experience the flight of enjoyment.
The seasonal flow of food can teach us a lot about human nature and our relationship to our own flow of intimacy. Just as oranges bloom in the winter months and strawberries in the summer, our own male and female cycles experience times of growth and rest, intimacy versus independence, love versus emptiness. Yet all too often we get caught up in society’s blueprint and create expectations for ourselves that require us to experience a constant state of happiness, love, and positivity. Just as we now make strawberries and oranges to be available year-round, we tend to expect the same from our own emotions.
In previous posts I have talked about how men automatically alternate between the need for intimacy and the need for independence. Relationship expert Dr. John Gray talks about the “rubber band” metaphor, which explains the theory that when a man walks away, he can only stretch so far before returning. The metaphor involves getting closer, moving away, and then getting closer again with a renewed sense of energy and desire. This is the basis of the male cycle.
Understanding the cycles of intimacy allows us to normalize and accept the flow of emotions that we experience on a regular basis. Instead of tapping into a constant need for high energy and positivity, we can recognize the flow of our emotions.
This post focuses on the wave of female emotion. As the men recede and then move closer, the women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others, similar to a wave motion. A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is generally a reflection of how she feels about herself. When she doesn’t feel good about herself, she is less tolerant and appreciative. This low level of the feminine wave tends to be characterized by feelings of overwhelming, where high emotions are easily activated. During this time, a woman is more vulnerable and requires more love.
Without the awareness surrounding this display of human behavior, many men become confused and frustrated during the low level of the wave, leading to disputes and relationship breakdowns. One minute he seems incredibly happy with life, love, and everything in between. A happy wife equates to a happy life, and he thinks he is doing very well. However, the next minute, the tide may be receding and the low-level wave is advancing bringing feelings of uncertainty and low self-esteem. Since a woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is one of how she feels about herself, this low-level wave has an immediate impact on the world around her. Suddenly wondering where it all went so wrong. What happened and how can you fix it?
Hold !! This is the first key learning for men when it comes to the wave of female emotion. It is not something that needs to be fixed. The last thing a woman needs when she’s down is someone to tell her why she shouldn’t be depressed. Rather, what she needs is someone to be there for her support, to listen to her as she shares her feelings, and to empathize with what she is going through. Love, care, and support are key. When you reach your lowest energy level, you seek love and support. When she finds him (or chooses to reconnect), she inevitably begins to pick herself up again, with greater acceptance of herself and the return of her ability to radiate love into her relationships.
We can often see the disguise of a corporate suit or social niceties that cover the low level of the tide, but in the comfort of their own home when the curtains are drawn, women are forced to acknowledge their feelings. The key for men is to provide a caring, caring and supportive environment always, through the high and low levels of the tide.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gray locates a study in her work that reveals that a woman’s cycle of self-esteem generally goes up and down on a cycle between twenty-one and thirty-five days. While this period of time averages a twenty-eight-day cycle, the wave of self-esteem is not automatically in sync with the menstrual cycle.
As a suggestion for women, while you can check and record your menstrual cycle, it may also be beneficial to record your surges of emotions to better understand your own rhythm and flow. While the facade can serve a functional purpose at times, drop it when necessary and allow your true emotions to play out. After reconnaissance, find satisfying ways to better serve yourself during low tide. You can choose a hot bath, bake at home, read, journal, exercise, meditate, make art, or more. Just trust the flow of what you need to do to reconnect with your own self-love.
Ultimately, whether it’s the cycle of male intimacy or female self-acceptance, recognition gives us the freedom to relax and accept what our body and energy levels are actually communicating, rather than disconnecting and ignoring our true emotions. . A real connection to what we are experiencing means that we can better understand ourselves. Through this greater understanding, we can experience love and affection on a deeper and more intimate level.
